Wednesday 14 December 2011

Christmas Dinner Day Nightmare!

Rerprographic Dept
Yesterday was special because it was Christmas Dinner at work and Sandra proclaimed that all rush photocopying and laminating should cease throughout the school …….. (if not the land!)
Paper cutting
….. and to quote the song  “….. the school bells would be ringing out for Christmas Dinner Day!”
Christmas Dinner day 2011
We were very excited …..
Delia Smith Christmas recipes
….. but there was a blot on our festive landscape, Tallulah had availed herself of one of the spare seats at our table ...
Iceland Christmas 2011 Ad
However, we decided to adopt a mature attitude towards our dire situation  and asked everyone who passed our table to protect us join our party ……..
Heinz Tomatoe Soup
I am ashamed to admit that my offer to collect both Darrell and my starters was not an entirely altruistic act but an excuse to leave the table and Tallulah’s gaze of a fixated and heavy breathing type nature for just a few minutes …..
1 Heinz Tomato Soup
The soup was delicious ….
Prawn Cocktail
…. as was Darrell’s porn pawn prawn cocktail!
Sainsbury's Cranberry Sauce
Darrell then insisted on fetching our mains …. and was away for ages, he said he that had been asking Cook about her stuffing and chipolatas, but it was another cunning ruse for prolonged table absence!
Heston Blumenthal Christmas Pudding
When Tallulah said that she would be collect our dessert, we lost our appetite …..
Bournmoeth 151
….. and unfortunately, very uncharacteristically, they sadly went to waste.
Bournmoeth 122
Sensing our growing discomfort Sandra winked at us and suggested that she should take our coffee back to the office, as she had just realised that there was an urgent laminating job that needed doing that she had just invented remembered, and we should bring the mints ……….. We have never been so relieved to leave a dinner table before ….. and love (but not in a Tallulah type way) Sandra even more now than we did before ….. we sought sanctuary and Sandra provided it!

4 comments:

marc said...

O MY BOYS YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ..
My name is Tallulah my first rule of thumb i don't say where I'm coming from
I try to leave a little reputation behind me
so if you really need to you'll know were to find me
My name is Tallulah i'll live till i die i'll take what you give me and i wont ask why ,I've alot of friends in some exotic places i don't remember names but i remember faces ,
Lonely you don't have to be lonely
come and see Tallulah i can chase your troubles away ,Oh if your lonely you don't have to be lonely
when they talk about Tallulah you know what they say no one south of heavens gonna treat you boys finer
Tallulah had her training with Wolverhampton's finest
My name is Tallulah and soon I'll be gone an open invitation is the road i@ll travel on
I'll never say goodbye because the words upset me you may have to forgive me but your never forget me
o boys are you lonely you don't have to be lonely come and see Tallulah i can chase your troubles away ............
COME UP AND SEE ME SOME TIME BOYS
IVE BEEN MARRIED SO MANY TIMES WEDDING BELLS SOUND LIKE AN ALARM CLOCK TO ME
YOUR NO ONE FAN HUGS AND KISSES MS SHAKE MY TOSHIE T

Mr. D said...

Marc, yours must a record length of comment ever posted on Mum's Monkey. Well done.
Oh dear! I know of lovesick people who lose their appetite too.
What a shame about your special dinner too.

Anonymous said...

Oh the pain of unrequited love - I feel for you Tallulah I really do.
JantheFan x

Anonymous said...

Oh my, a femme fatale at Christmas dinner; but certainly the lovely Tallulah's intentions were pure!? This is the price to be paid for being eligible attractive gentlemen. Definitely stick together when in the lady's presence to prevent any sort of divide and conquer situation. Remember 'tis the season so Beware of Mistletoe! Best Wishes for lots of holiday season fun.....Dianne