Monday, 30 November 2009


Snow Monkey
I think this picture makes me look like Ryan O’Neil in “Love Story”.  It’s my enigmatic romantic expression in the snow look.
The run up to Christmas starts at Midnight tonight ….. forget the likes of Fern Britain's husband banging on about Aldi’s three bird roast and chocolate reindeer, Jamie Oliver roaming the streets of Britain, sticking bits of his festive food in plastic cups for people to try and the Marks and Spencer’s lady running around in a snowy forest in her bra and pants (she’ll get a chill on her kidneys if she does that too often, mark my words) ……
When it comes to Santastic Yuletide Top Tips I’m your man, think of me as a Festive Gok Wan (with my clothes on)
Here’s to 24 days of Monkey’s Crimbotastic Guide to Christmas Preparation ……….

Sunday, 29 November 2009


Whenever I find myself walking in an underpass, going under a bridge, travelling through a tunnel or sitting in a long, winding metal tube I can’t stop myself from going wooooooooooooooo! What about you? Do you go wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo too?

Saturday, 28 November 2009

Undercover Operations at Cine World

Picture 214

Auntie Jan and Mum got told off in the foyer of Cine World seconds after they took this picture of me choosing my cinematic refreshment.  It appears that taking pictures is not allowed in Cine Work establishments.  Mum and Auntie Jan were most humble and apologised profusely, uttering that they didn’t realise etc etc …..

Picture 217

I was quite convinced of the sincerity of their contriteness , it seemed most genuine…….

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Until they couldn’t resist another shot when I got to my seat!  What can I do with them????

Anyway we went to see Michael Jackson “This is It” – which was very good, it would have been a brilliant show had it not been for his untimely demise.

For those who are curious after spotting my Pic N Mix bag, it contained the following -  a couple of chunks of chocolate fudge, milk bottles, fried eggs, foam bananas and shrimps, a huge, long, blue fondant filled cable, white spotty buttons, foamy strawberries and mini eggs.

Friday, 27 November 2009

A Curry With a Swift Half.

Last night I have had my 5th curry of the week, a lamb balti with a plain naan to wipe up all the sauce, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.  The lamb was very tender
(Hmmm not sure about this picture, it looks like I am erm…… adjusting myself or doing a very good impression of Michael Jackson, RIP)
I digress,  my tea was made all the better by my nipping across the road to the pub for a swift half.
However I think my exotic diet this week may have had an adverse affect on my breath because I am sure I detected the delectable Tracey (the barmaid) pull away slightly as I leant forward to order my drink.
I came home and gargled with a mixture of Listerine and Plax for a full five minutes and tomorrow I will suck mints vigorously before seeking the company of others.

Thursday, 26 November 2009

National Curry Week - 22nd-28th November

As I LOVE a curry, it is only natural that I should support National Curry Week wholeheartedly.
Picture 319
So this week I intend to have seven curries, one for each day of the celebrations.  In the village where I live we have a brilliant take away called The Taj Mahal.  I think I am one of their best customers, because they phone me to take my order!
Picture 318
So far this week I have gone down the speciality list and have had Muggh Tikka Bhuna Korai, Chicken Balti, Murgh-Chilli Bahar and tonight Naga Murg-E, I’m not sure what I will have for the rest of the week, but I am sure they will all be equally delicious.
Monkey with Takeaway Menu
I like a pillau rice and three popadums to accompany my curry. After I have finished I like to pop a damp flannel into the microwave for a homemade hot towel.

Wednesday, 25 November 2009

Three Chances – Then You Are Out!

Picture 012
I have just got a cash card, but I have a terrible job remembering my pin number. 
Picture 011
You only get three chances to get it right before the machine swallows your card up and I get all flustered if there is a queue of people behind me, tutting because I am taking a long time .
I only wanted to check on how much money I had got in the bank (on top of what  I have in my piggy bank) as I will be making some important online Christmas purchases in the next week or so………..

Tuesday, 24 November 2009


A HUGE “Thank You” to Bags of Love (see sidebar), who have made me a WONDERFUL set of postcards for me to send to my friends over the next year.  Some are for Christmas and some are for birthdays and other special times.  THANK YOU.
Monkey and Postcards
I was a bit nervous about stepping in front of the camera, but the photographer, Derek, put me at my ease and said I was a natural.  The lady who was there to powder my nose was GORGEOUS and kept winking at me.
Monkey postcards
I have spent this afternoon writing out my Christmas card list, it took me ages because I write very slowly owing to my little stumpy hands.
Picture 296 
If you would like one of my postcards why not drop me a line via my e-mail address (check sidebar for details) and I will see what I can do. Sorry, I can’t send outside uk.
writing  Picture 296
Picture 306

Monday, 23 November 2009

Counting My Pennies

Christmas is coming and I have raided my piggy bank to count the pennies I have been saving all year. 
Monkey Counting Money
…… £17.50, that’s not too bad and should buy all my presents.  I think I will go into Wolverhampton after they switch on the Christmas lights and the season of late night shopping begins
Monkey with Piggy Bank
The lights are usually switched on by someone from the pantomime, it’s probably going to be The Krankies, as they always seem to be here at Christmas.  I am not a great fan.  I did look to see who was doing pantomime in Birmingham but it’s John Barrowman and I don’t much like him either.  I think I will just get some Christmassy DVDs from Blockbuster to watch instead.

Sunday, 22 November 2009

Treasured Memories

I shall treasure my Pirate Days for many years to come.
Monkey with chest
I made sure I completed my Pirate Diary each day before I went to bed.  I tried to record all the important things,  like what I had for breakfast, what I had for lunch, what I had for tea, and what I had for supper and snacks.
monkey with gruesome pen
…….I hope I didn’t frighten you, I am not writing with a real dismembered finger, it’s a joke pen!  Auntie Jan refused to touch it, she said that it was gruesome.
Monkey with rakish grin
I think I look awfully rakkish in this picture, a touch of Brad Pitt meets George Clooney, but to be honest wearing a patch was giving me a bit of a squint!
Brownies as far as the eye can see
....... And the sound that 600 excited Brownies make has left me with ringing in my ears, but I am sure that will wear off in a day or two.
The journey home was very quiet, we were all lost in our thoughts.

Saturday, 21 November 2009

I Couldn’t Eat A Whole One

Am I right in thinking that Her Majesty the Queen is the only person in the country who is allowed to eat swans?
If she is, might I suggest that she sends one of her top chefs to Pwellheli immediatley to prepare the cygnet in this picture for her royal table and serves it up with roast potaoes, peas, carrots, cauliflower and a rich thick gravy.
Do not be fooled by the whimsy of this scene, for it is a shallow facade, seconds after this photo was taken the aforementioned cygnet grabbed me by the  foot and tried to pulled me through the railings. My whole life flashed before me and it was only through the swift actions of Auntie Jan that I survived to tell the tale.
So Your Majesty, get stuck in, there should be enough left over for sandwiches tomorrow as well!

Friday, 20 November 2009


Simple pleasures.

Thursday, 19 November 2009

A Trip To The Beach

It may have been cold, windy and wet but the beach in Wales was beautiful!
It certainly blew all my cobwebs away.
We took our pirate map and it really didn’t matter that we didn't find any pirate treasure .... IMG_1519
..... because it was just one of those magical times when we were a little band of happy souls, totally alone on a windswept beach ……
.... with memories that will last for a life time…..

Wednesday, 18 November 2009

Indulging in the Pleasures Of Neptune

The pool at our Pirate Weekend was wicked.  It had three flumes, and I went on them all, lots and lots of times, until Tawny Owl shouted at me to let the Brownies have a turn! 
She made me get out of the pool and look after the bags.  I apologised to all the Brownies.  I just got over excited.
looking after the bags
But after that I didn’t have the heart to go and buy the new trunks I had my eye on.
new trunks

Tuesday, 17 November 2009

A Pirates Life For Me – Well Just for the Weekend at Least …

Monkey with Treasure Chest
It took me quite a while, but I have finally sorted out me pictures! You will be probably be bored senseless of them by the time you have seen them all.
We arrived at our Pirate Gathering at 10.30 pm, ‘twas deathly dark, the wind ‘twas gusting with much ferocity, the rain t’was pelting with much wetness and all we wanted ‘twas our beds and slumber on Friday night.
But, it must have been the salty sea air because I awoke with a hearty appetite!
Snap, Crackle, Pop ……
Monkey having Breakfast
…….. followed by a full English
Monkey having cooked breakfast
Afterwards there was so much to do ……. like making a Pirate Parrot….
Monkey Following parrot Instructions Monkey Making a parrot
There were feathers everywhere.
Monkeys Mind Drifting
But I have to admit by 12.00 my mind was wondering to what we would be having for lunch!
IMG_1509 IMG_1510
It was a little daunting as there were no other “boys” there, but I managed to cope with all the attention ……
IMG_1540 Monkey -Women Adore Me
I’ll get my coat …… I think I’ve pulled!

Monday, 16 November 2009

I Feel Like I Have Sailed the Seven Seas …. Several Times!

Picture 215
I apologise, I look dishevelled and half asleep in this picture. It was taken during a comfort break on the Motorway on the way home.  I had been sleeping on the coach and I don’t think I had woken up properly.
Suffice to say the weekend was BRILLIANT!  I have some brilliant pictures to show you, but if you don’t mind I’d like to go back to bed for a while, I may get up in time for tea. ....
A pirate ship, a pirate ship, Kentucky fried chicken and a pirate ship….. you know when you have a song stuck in your head ……..?
P.S - We didn't win the best pirate chalet competition, despite staying up till 2.30 to do it, 'twas an ill wind that guided our artistic efforts - I am as gutted as Affro Jamie must feel after being booted off the X Factor!

Sunday, 15 November 2009

Joy to the World

Woooo hoooooo ………………..
Egg Nog Latte is back on Starbucks menu.  It is my most favourite drink in all the world …. and now I really know Christmas is on it's way , even if it’s still mid November.
Monkey with Egg Nog latte
I have promised myself, that I will have at least one egg nog each week until Christmas, and that I will sit and drink it very very slowly, savouring every last sip ……. heaven comes in a red Starbuck cup for this monkey.

Saturday, 14 November 2009

The Ticking of Time

While I am away this weekend I won’t be able to blog, but what I have done is put together a couple of things in advance so that those days won’t be left empty…..
So today I thought I would tell you about my watch ….
Auntie Jan bought it for me two Christmas’s ago.
Monkey wearing watch
She knows I LOVE the Queen and this watch is sooooo special because it’s got the Queen on it.
Queen watch
When it is wound up the Queen waves, how brilliant is that?  Auntie Jan is the best present buyer ever.