Thursday, 18 January 2018

Nigel’s Slight Misunderstanding

Sometimes Nigel has a tendency to take things a little too literally.
Yesterday he saw this large banner outside the Tesco up the road …….
…… and got totally the wrong end of the stick ……. declaring that though he really adored his daily ration of fruit, he also really loved Iris and Bertie far too much to ever consider exchanging them for a free banana, apple or satsuma, or, for that matter, a very large honeydew melon!
However, all was mercifully made clearer on entering said supermarket to investigate further, what Tesco were actually offering was a piece of fruit of their choice to any children while they were shopping ……….IMG_6394
Well, that was a completely different scenario to what Nigel had first imagined. However, he is now wondering how many times he can wheel Iris and Bertie round Tesco in a single day without anyone noticing!! Sometimes …… I just despair  ….. what is he like?

Wednesday, 17 January 2018

Feed The Birds

Darrell and I have treated Nigel to another window bird feeder …….
……. to be honest it’s not really allowed in our leasehold and we’ve put one up before, but we chickened out and took it down after a few days ……
…….. but we now feel more “established” and as we’ve just had our annual window clean it’s a case of “who dares wins”!

Tuesday, 16 January 2018

Caught In The Act

Yesterday I caught Nigel in the act ……….
……… “channelling,” he said “his inner most Toni and Guy!” ………
……. on Iris’s Princess Styling Head.  He said, that as an uncle of a beloved niece he was still very much a stranger to the mystery of the bunch, bun, plait and pony tail and getting Iris ready for afternoon nursery was occasionally fraught if any of her slides or bands had come out or loose during the morning ………
IMG_6378 …… and he worried that his skills in art of coiffure might be seen as wanting by her nursery staff.
Well, that’s his story ……. and he’s sticking to it!  What is he like, if not the most devoted uncle ever???? But I don’t think said Toni and Guy have anything to worry about!

Monday, 15 January 2018

If You Can’t Beat ‘Em ……

If you can’t beat ‘em …… you may as well join ‘em …….. and with all the exotically pungent aromas that currently waft from the bathroom every time Darrell and Nigel take a bath or a shower I have finally decided that what’s sauce for the goose is a l'orange for the duck …. although up to now I have always been very much a very traditional Nivea man ………
IMG_6361 …… but, as such, I have blown the whole of my toiletry budget for this month on some rarefied potions of my own ……. of a cocktail type nature.
They smell absolutely divine and as I shower they bring back many happy memories of all the cocktails we have all enjoyed in foreign climes and in our lounge, courtesy of Darrell.
I have already caught him taking a sneaky whiff or two, and I am not discouraging him, because, perhaps they will inspire him to create something a little more erm…… palatable …… particularly as we are settling down to Dancing on Ice of a Sunday Night ……. an almost perfect time for the odd cheeky cocktail or two!

Sunday, 14 January 2018

No One Loves A Dank Morning

I don’t think any of us is really embracing getting up and out during the seasonal dark, dank, misty moisty winters mornings …….
……. in fact Nigel is has convinced himself that he is is suffering from a particularly bad strain of NESSness – to wit Not Enough Sunshine Syndrome!
He says leaving The Towers in the dark and then returning, again in the dark, seems to be affecting his normal sunny disposition and that perhaps Darrell and I should consider getting him a lava lamp to sit in front of to lift his flagging spirits.
Sometimes I just despair!

Saturday, 13 January 2018

Darrell Sorts Out Our Next Greek Odyssey

It’s that cold and grey time of year when Darrell starts feeling the call of the hot sun on his back, sand between his toes and a Greek souvlaki on his plate, so yesterday afternoon he demanded total silence after deciding it would be an opportune time  to search for our next Greek Odyssey.
Well, to be honest Nigel and I took ourselves off for a walk followed by a chai latte as we know exactly what Darrell is like when he is looking for an odyssey.
And after two hours we thought it would probably be safe to return home ……..
……. to a jubliant but still concentrating Darrell, who was just double checking that he had crossed all the i’s and dotted all the t’s before finally pressing the confirm button and securing a week self catering dans Crete for us all.
Darrell said that Crete had just sounded soooooo impossibly romantic and promised much ……… and as a Greek island we have yet to explore the pleasures of, it would have looked rude not to book!  What is he like?  He then disappeared into his room to check to see if he would need to order a new pair of budgie smugglers while he was at it!  Bless him, he had worked so hard, yet again, to find us the perfect holiday who am I to begrudge him his beach wear of choice, no matter how tight?

Friday, 12 January 2018

Nigel Won’t Be Beat By Darrell

It has to be said that where Darrell sets the trend, Nigel is not short to follow …….. and with his New York Adventure never far from his mind Nigel has already said that he doesn’t want to be found wanting in the grooming department, and as such he has already started a “beauty” regime of his own …….
IMG_6333Let’s just say that though I can’t fault the intention, Nigel’s choice of product can only be described as not a little unusual and diverse in their aromatic emittance!
IMG_6334 …….. the whiffs that waft from bathroom and Nigel during and after his ablutions certainly do have an extraordinary and rare piquancy about them!

Thursday, 11 January 2018

Nigel’s Over Active Imagination

Sometimes Nigel’s imagination is just a little too vivid for my liking ….  and he certainly spends too much time at the window, believe me if we had nets they would be twitching like nobody’s business!!!
Yesterday afternoon, with not much to do, he was absolutely convinced he had spotted some sort of smuggling activity, modern day smugglers bringing their contraband ashore by boat, just like in the olden days ……..
He reasoning came from the fact that he had never seen a boat land on one of the fishing platforms before, adding that if we poked around underneath it goodness only knows what plunder we would find carefully stored to be collected at a later date, doubloons, gold, precious gems or even whisky, who knows!
It took me quite a while to calm him down and say that I didn’t think that there was or ever has been a smuggling problem on the Avon and the gentlemen in question  were just ordinary fishermen out for a quiet afternoons sport.
I have to say, he didn’t seem that convinced, he was positive that he had seen some sort of nefarious, winter, waterborne activity …….
IMG_6076 ……sometimes I just have to raise my hands in despair and  lay the blame firmly on Captain Jack Sprat Sparrow

Wednesday, 10 January 2018

Our First Confectionary Review Of 2018 - Original Halloren Balls

As we said a couple of days ago our beloved friends Ze Monkeys dans exotic Germany sent us a wonderful parcel of Teutonic delicacies for Christmas and today we thought we would bring you the first of our reviews, which, after some light hearted debate, we all agreed should be for the Halloren Cocoa and Cream Balls.
Darrell used a German to English app to translate the blurb to enable us to ascertain that, and I quote  “ …….The original cream of the finest cream is composed with aromatic cocoa cream and wrapped in crunchy dark chocolate. This treat is a top pleasure for lovers of sweet delicacies.”  They indeed appeared to promise much.
On opening the box we were surprised to see that they were “served” in a tray, we had rather expected that they would be loose and wrapped, rather like a Lindor …….. but they still looked very, tempting, in, how did Nigel put it, “their raw nakedness”  What is he like?
And how did they taste? Well, they certainly did not disappoint …… the chocolate did have a certain crunch as you bit into each ball and the cream and cocoa filling ticked all our richness boxes, the flavour of the cream subtly coming to the fore and then mingling with the cocoa as we chewed, delicious and moreish.
We loved then, neigh, we adored them …….. and then Darrell translated a little more and discovered that you can pop two or three of your balls into hot milk and stir for two or three minutes for a “delicious drinking pleasure!” 
Well, it would have been rude not to ……..
…… so we tried it with two of our balls ………. what can we say but “was für eine wundervolle Erfahrung” (what a most wonderful experience).
It would have been so easy to award our balls 10 out of 10 on our world famous Richter Scale of noms, but we didn’t want to peak too soon with several more German comestible treats to try …….
…….. therefore, with this in mind we decided to awarded Original Halloren Kugeln nine out of ten, with the proviso that we can revise our score, if needed, once we have sampled the rest our German sweetmeats.

Tuesday, 9 January 2018

Darrell Trials A Few Beauty Products

As you know Darrell is a robust metrosexual, taking  great pride in his meticulous male grooming, so when Hugh, his best friend and mentor, sent him a huge pile of skin products to try he was thrilled beyond belief!
IMG_6316 I have to say, some of the items were, how shall I say ………
……. a little unusual to say the least …….
…… however, if anyone can rock covering his face in snail trail ……….
…… Darrell can ……
……. and I can’t wait to see, and perhaps even feel the results once he has started to use them!!!!

Monday, 8 January 2018

Nigel Cookery Instructor Extraordinaire

With so much chocolate left over from Christmas Nigel decided it might be an opportune time to introduce Iris to the art of the chocolate crispy cake!
And it goes without saying that before any food preparation was done, all hands were scrupulously scrubbed!
Rather than risk any accidents involving knives being wielded by little hands on slabs of chocolate, Nigel took the precaution of doing all the necessary chopping at home beforehand, thus alleviating any said health and safety issues!
Nigel said that the chocolate was relatively safe from sampling, however on the other hand the marshmallows that Nigel thought would add an extra dimension to the crispy cakes proved much more tempting ………
……. and as a result only about a quarter of the intended measure actually got added!
Next came much intense mixing ……..
…… followed by the filling of cake cases and then the obligatory licking of the bowl.
And when everything was finally done Nigel insisted that Iris do the washing up too …… as that, he said, was also all part of the culinary experience.
Sadly there are no pictures of the finished results ……. once set they all just sort of disappeared ……. but Nigel did tell me that there was much nomming as Iris does make exceedingly good crispy cakes.